Sunday, May 25, 2008
Feeling Better
Spent Wednesday night through Saturday after breakfast at my zen center in Champaign, which calmed my mind considerably. I think also the Effexor (antidepressant) is beginning to kick in. Anxiety still licks around the corners, but I have Lorazepam for that, so I am actually looking forward to my trip to Mexico. I'll be leaving early Tuesday morning, returning the following Tuesday evening, June 3. A couple of friends have told me that I am beginning to seem like my old self, and I will say that I am starting to feel better, although I do believe my old self will never be the same. The therapist I saw last week observed that I am moving from acute illness into the chronic illness phase (although my zen teacher warns against believing the label "chronic illness.") The fact remains that I am going to have to live with the idea that the illness can reappear at any time, and with the practice of getting CT scans every three months to see what's happening and determine if anything has changed. This will take time, I realize. I am also going to have to go back to work soon, as I'm living on savings. I'm already doing a little work, but I'm not up to full capacity. Finally, I have to get stronger. I haven't been to a gym in months, although I have been walking and going to yoga, but not regularly. Your ongoing expressions of support, concern, love and compassion, in all their various forms, are of great support and comfort. Many thanks.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Have a great trip in Mexico. I'm glad you are starting to feel better. Even if you don't think you will be the same, I hope going through this will give you a sense of freedom that one can only get from facing the type of challenge you have faced.
Stephanie
I am also a Knox alum - that's how I found your blog. Thank you for so honestly sharing your fight with cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I know you've had a recent complication. I'm praying that you get the strength (physical, emotional, spirtitual) you need to deal with this.
Stephanie
This is Giudi, reporting in for Valjean at her request. (I'll try to get it on the main blog page when I get tech help.)
VJ had a nice time in Mexico, including swimming with the dolphins (I'm sure she'll have a photo up here eventually), but became very short of breath the last few days. Came home, went straight to the ER, and was admitted to the USS Northwestern, where they removed about 4 liters of fluid from her lungs. On Friday she had a "minimally-invasive" surgical procedure to reattach her left lung to the chest wall. She expects to be released sometime this week, and will be back on the blog when she's up to it. We all hope that will be soon.
Post a Comment