Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Valerie Jean McLenighan 12/28/47 to 7/9/08

Valjean died this morning around 2:30. Judith Conaway was with her, so she did not go alone.

Valjean's body will be cremated. Her life will be celebrated on a date to be determined. Keep watching this space.

(Kate is kindly posting this for me because my internet connection is down- Giudi)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is such sad news. God rest Valjean's lovely soul.

Barbara

Mark McKelvey said...

If you read nothing else of this – go to paragraph five below re: a get together today, Wednesday. If it's helpful - my cell is 773/220-2815.

Hi everyone - Kate and Francine, I just got your phone messages and send our love to everyone with a broken heart. When I left last PM I didn't know what to hope but did focus on a good passage and I'm sure Val got that. There was certainly a wonderful crowd of friends gathered to say good-bye! Thank you Kate, again, for making sure we were all properly lit. Valjean would have particularly appreciated that thoughtful touch as those bright lights can be so unforgiving. I'm so glad Judith was there at the end. Could one of you forward this to her as I don’t believe she is on this email?

I know that acceptance comes after the anger and we'll all get to that but for now Edna St. Vincent Millay sums it up pretty well -
"Gently they go, the beautiful,
the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent,
the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve
and I am not resigned."

I also know that everyone's exhausted and needing their quiet - and that we'll all gather later to celebrate our dear friend.

But - like Val I’m Irish and I feel a strong need to share time today in celebrating Val and having a good cry. If anyone's interested in joining in (please come!) I’ll be sitting on her back porch/stairs as of about 5PM today. I just talked to Kate and she’ll be there. Val’s back porch is the closest I can think to get to her – wanted to go to the hospice this AM but you’re all gone and the bed’s empty and I can’t bear that thought. I know Val will be with us looking out over the back yard so I’ll be there around 5/5:30PM and will bring some drinks and a cooler. We can get a pizza, if we want, from Leona’s and I may even bring some Irish tunes. Bring a Kleenex and your favorite stories. God knows Valjean helped create enough of them! Francine – Giudi – Kate and Mary – could someone please bring the swimming-with-the-dolphins photo? That’s a must.

Valjean and I sat on her porch when we lost our dear friend David 14 years ago next month. We sat in the sun and had a good cry. We'd celebrated David's birthday in early August and then he and Mike went to Traverse City to see David's family and David took ill and died there. Val, Betsy and I'd talked about going up to see him but it was too late. After we got the call from Mike I went to Val's and we sat on her back porch and had a wonderful pity party. She and I'd sort of set up a network of care for David and Mike, though nowhere near as sophisticated as the one set up this year for Val! Betsy and I were going to California the next day and thought about canceling and going with Val to the Traverse City funeral but she said David would say "go - go - go" re: our long-planned trip, and we did. Val promised to remember and share every detail of the Trav City trip and didn’t fail us. When we called from the west coast after she came back one of the first things she said was that "the comfort food was really good"!! I thought of that last PM when Francine or someone brought in the pecan sandies. The comfort food was really good!

Hope to see you later today. - Mark McKelvey

Anonymous said...

thank you to those who updated this blog and kept us informed, especially those of us outside chicago...although i am thousands of miles away, i had a sense valjean was dying last night and felt very close to her....i feel very sad, but also very blessed to have known her....love to all.....

Anonymous said...

In planning her memorial service, I would offer this poem by Wallace Stevens, as I know it was one of her favorites. Thanks.

Steve McCabe

Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour


Light the first light of evening
In which we rest and, for small reason, think
The world imagined is the ultimate good.

This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous.
It is in that thought that we collect ourselves,
Out of all the indifferences, into one thing:

Within a single thing, a single shawl
Wrapped tightly round us, since we are poor, a warmth,
A light, a power, the miraculous influence.

Here, now, we forget each other and ourselves.
We feel the obscurity of an order, a whole,
A knowledge, that which arranged the rendezvous.

Within its vital boundary, in the mind.
We say God and the imagination are one...
How high that highest candle lights the dark.

Out of this same light, out of the central mind,
We make a dwelling in the evening air,
In which being there together is enough.

Surly said...

So swiftly this happened! I wish I had been able to say goodbye. Valjean was a like a big sister to me for a time and talked me through some big changes. Her wisdom touched my life. I am happy so many friends were near her at the end.

Stacey Earley