Monday, January 14, 2008

In Praise of Appetite

New cancer patients get a lot of scary stuff to read. I have a thick file of booklets and pamphlets for patients that includes "Lung Cancer: Treatment Guidelines for Patients," by the American Cancer Society and National Comprehensive Cancer Network; "Chemotherapy and You," 64 pages from the National Cancer Institute; and "Radiation Therapy and You," also from the NCI.

Then there's my white ring binder from the Robert H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center, with details in Section 4 on Cisplatin and Pemetrexed, the two chemotherapy drugs I'm taking, not to mention Section 5: "Managing the Side Effects of Lung Cancer and Its Treatment." Section 5 contains pithy little paragraphs on a litany of possible side effects, including anemia, breathing problems, bruising or bleeding, constipation, depression, fatigue, hair loss, infection, loss of appetite, mouth sores/gum and throat problems, nausea and vomiting, pain, peripheral neuropathy, radiation fibrosis, sexual and resproductive concerns, and skin problems.

They have to tell you this stuff, but it's disconcerting, to say the least. They're careful to say that not all of these problems happen to everybody, but nonetheless--well, nonetheless.

Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat. So those three little words -- loss of appetite -- have been weighing on me ever since I first dipped into "Chemotherapy and You" two and a half weeks ago. Since then, I have tried to make it a practice to pay attention to every bite I put into my mouth.

Yesterday I went to the Cenacle House on Fullerton for a day of intensive meditation with a zen group headed by Taigen Dan Leighton ( http://ancientdragon.org/) . They served a simple lunch of nicely seasoned stir-fried veggies, tofu and rice pilaf. Heavenly! For dessert there was pineapple (along with a ginger bundt cake), and I do believe that pineapple was one of the best I have ever tasted.

Today when I returned from acupuncture -- hungry, thank God -- there was a message on my machine from Nancy G alerting me to the fact that she had left a container of soup in my front hall. Cooking is so intimate -- you literally put your sense of taste into another's mouth. You nourish. I could taste the love in Nancy's soup.

So this is just a reminder. Savor your appetite. Appreciate every morsel.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good point! I think I'd eat less if I paid attention to each bite. I do think you will have some loss of appetite. ...maybe not. I'm sure they have a list of high protein menus for you in this new age of good food.

Sally Station said...

As I read this entry on food, I spooned freshly pealed grapefruit from the finca into my gob... oh how I wish I could beam some of it up to you, my girl. But that would be too easy! You must come and get it yourself!!!!

Unknown said...

Today a new friend stopped by to pick up a few hundred balls to take on his way to Panama. He's leading a motorbike tour from the Rio Grande to the Panama Canal. He came from the tip of Wisconsin. We shared a nice antipasto and a few laughs before he was on his way.

I'm reading and appreciating very much all your writing. When you ready to share I would love to learn more about your mediation stuff. I tried acupuncture once. I wanted to like it but it freaked me out.

Unknown said...

Today a new friend stopped by to pick up a few hundred balls to take on his way to Panama. He's leading a motorbike tour from the Rio Grande to the Panama Canal. He came from the tip of Wisconsin. We shared a nice antipasto and a few laughs before he was on his way.

I'm reading and appreciating very much all your writing. When you ready to share I would love to learn more about your mediation stuff. I tried acupuncture once. I wanted to like it but it freaked me out.