Friday, Nov. 30, a pain in my chest sent me to Northwestern Memorial Hospital's ER, where a CT chest scan showed a suspicious mass on my right lung. I met with a pulmonologist the following Wednesday, had a biopsy Thursday and on Friday (Dec. 7) received a diagnosis: non small cell lung cancer that has invaded some lymph nodes in the center chest and so cannot be removed surgically. The stage, IIIB, is their best guess to date. I am scheduled for a PET scan 12/17 to see if the cancer is confined to the chest or has spread. Some lung-function tests will also be performed that day. Tuesday, 12/11, at 11 a.m. I will see a lung cancer specialist who comes highly recommended and was one of the docs who wrote the clinical guidelines for treatment of this condition. Northwestern Memorial's tumor board will meet this Wed. a.m. (12/12) to discuss my case and come up with treatment options. Unless they have to wait til after the PET scan, I'm not really sure.
The pain apparently was caused by pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung. The ER gave me some antibiotics, and within 48 hours the pain was no longer an issue.
The universe provides. The night I landed in the ER I was supposed to meet with some classmates from Knox College, including cancer survivor and expert Leonard Bord, who was given a very bad prognosis 20 years ago and is still alive and incredibly helpful todaeny. He has been most generous with his expertise and compassion, and I am blessed to know him.
Last Thursday, the night before the path report came in, my zen meditation group was supposed to meet in my dining room, as we do every Thursday. None of the regulars came, but a brand-new member, who had attended only once before, turned out to be a certified nurse healer. She did a session with me last Thursday night, and another one just now.
I am also blessed, and deeply moved, by the outpouring of love and support that this diagnosis has generated. Thank you all so very, very much. I have prayed to be able to use this experience, whatever it brings, to open my heart and appreciate each moment, breath by breath. I know you hold me in your hearts, as I do you in mine.
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I'm sorry to say I was diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer on December 7, 2007. This journal is to update family, friends and loved ones as this new experience unfolds.
Where do we go from here?
Valjean is gone, but her blog remains. For now, I'll use it to post, one by one, the wonderful eulogies we heard at her memorial mass. After that...who knows?
In lieu of flowers
You are welcome to make a contribution to one of Valjean's favorite not-for-profits: St. Bernard Hospital in Chicago, IL; the Delta Institute in Chicago, IL; the Prairie Zen Center in Champaign, IL; or Knox College in Galesburg, IL.
In lieu of flowers
You are welcome to make a contribution to one of Valjean's favorite not-for-profits: St. Bernard Hospital in Chicago, IL; the Delta Institute in Chicago, IL; the Prairie Zen Center in Champaign, IL; or Knox College in Galesburg, IL.
Blog Archive
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2007
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December
(22)
- Getting Organized
- My Birthday in Pictures
- What Stands in the Way Is the Way
- Waiting
- Goodbye Frida. Hello, Plumber?
- Stop by on Christmas Eve
- It's the Little Things
- First tatoos
- Going for the clinical trial
- A Seat at the Table
- Long day
- Condo for rent, Puerto Vallarta, Jan 11-18
- Learning curve
- Testing finished. Now, treatment options
- Winter wonderland
- Pies from scratch
- Brain and bones okay
- Kindness spoken here
- Why we need health care reform
- Brain MRI
- Team leader: My kind of girl
- Background
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December
(22)
23 comments:
My thoughts and prayers are with you in support of your triumph over this challenge. You've got a great outlook which counts for so much.
Let me know what help you may need. I'd like to be there for you. Also, if you need a break just to feel like a person and not a patient, let's go for a pedicure, massage, tea at the Ritz, etc. You name it.
Hey ValJean,
Well, doesn't that just suck. The LaPorte family will send good vibes your way.
I did have to laugh at all the weird shit you have surrounded yourself with. It's so you and so cool. You go and meditate the shit out of that cancer and whatever else you need to do.
Lift your spirits tomorrow and watch your old friend on the Channel 7 news at 5 p.m. Don't freak I am about 20 years older than the last time you saw me. I'll be on Harry Porterfield's "A person you should know."
xoxo,
Victor
aw geez VJ, what's to say that you don't already know. I wish I had words. Just keep knowing you're cared for deeply and are receiving massive amounts of positive good healing energy from all those you have touched. You've got a date for your new-found father's 95th birthday and he expects you there. Whether permitting we're off to Greece tomorrow for a month. I'll have access to email and will have my cell phone with. Until I return and physically hugging you, keep in mind I will do this everyday.
Love ya.
Judy
Dear Valjean,
You probably don't recall the number but it was just 8 years ago the day before Thanksgiving wheb I had my last treatment at Northwestern. They tell me I don't have it anymore. So, you're in great hands.
If you need to know the NWMH dirt just let me know. In case you didn't get my new phone number, it's 312, 981.1765
Love,
Bill
Hi Valjean,
Your inspiration will help you through this time of waiting and I wish you the best outcome in the shortest possible time. If there is something I can do to help with anything, just let me know.
roger
Val - your news sure stopped us in our tracks. Seems like you were just here yesterday and this can't be true. I can walk to N'western - Betsy's there often - and, depending on what you want and need, we want to be involved. So - use us as best you can. Rides to wherever - a place to stay if you're tired - food on demand - and any amount of love and affection. Our love to you.
- Mark and Betsy, etc.
Geez, Valjean. What a kick in the head!
I second everything the others have said re: good wishes and holler if I can help (well, not the pedicure, massage etc..)
Sorry, I sent you an email anyway, 'cause I hadn't yet figured out this blog thingy. Looks like the computer guru could take some lessons from you.
Anyway, should you decide to go ahead with Christmas Eve, let me know if I can help - schlepping, shopping, whatever.
Valjean, again if there is anything I can do, please ask. Right around the corner from NMH, as you know. Given who you are, I'm sure you will make this quite a life and learning experience. While I wish it didn't have to be so fucking scary, I have great faith that you will come through this as an even more deepened human being. Don't hesitate to ask for anything, big or small.
Marty
Hey ValJean,
Stay strong as you have always done before.
My prayers and my love is with you. I will be frequently checking this space to see how you are doing.
xxoo
osman
Thank you for including me in your email, Valjean. I'm floored but your strength and patience will guide you through this, I know.
I've recently retired from my "sport of choice" and am suddenly blessed with abundant free time, so please call on me for any assistance you need. Ready, willing and able. XOX Stacey
son of a bitch.
of course you are dealing with this typical 'Valjean'. Strong and vulnerable at the same time.
I imagine you'll have to hold back all the people that will step up for you...your family is 'everyone who has ever known you'...me included.
I'm here day or night, no matter what time. 312-961-7324 cell or 312-344-7196 work. you are so loved.
I don't pray but in your case I'll make an exception.
Whoa. There's nothing like a lousy diagnosis out of the blue (love the open sea photo) to stop us cold.
Valjean, you are an amazing person. This blog is a great idea. Leave it to you to carry on, but we are here for the times when you just can't. Asking for help is important here; gives us an outlet for our caring and concern. Glad to hear you are surrounded by healers and the healed and are absorbing positive energy and prayers from all.
Hope to see you soon.
Patricia
Valjean, thank you for the gift of this blog, which will give us all a way to connect with you as this journey unfolds.
So if a prayer from a feminist atheist means anything (we all know it does!), I was over at the Notre Dame campus this morning and lit a candle for you at the Grotto. It is burning brightly, surrounded by many others, in the shelter of Our Lady who heard my plea.
I asked her for strength for you, a return to health, freedom from fear, and that you feel the love of your friends. So all that's on its way to you ...
Lots of love and you know where to find us. XO
I just got your e-mail and it took my breath away. I am still experiencing breath by breath as I know you are. Gail and I will keep you in our thoughts and meditations. I know you are much stronger then me and will continue to experience all that happens in the present.
Please keep me informed and let me know if there is anything you need. I don't work so my days are usually free if you need rides,errands or anything.
I am very sorry anyway and like others wish to be called on to provide whatever relief I can. I am working from home and more or less can make my own schedule so if you need a lift(physically or otherwise) please do not hesitate to ask 773 989-7825. As you like the 'there are no coincidences' message of life, I think sailing is a good image to use - sailing through, come about, coming through rough seas into calm waters, the tide is turning... so friend you will weather this storm- no doubt! I am pretty psychic and see us at some jazz concert well into our 80's - ( and lookin' pretty snazzy to boot) Please let the bloggers know if you wish us to call you, do you wish more privacy, more interaction and what we can do to help
Valjean--
I am in awe of your lucidity and personal strength. Stan and I send loads of love and good thoughts. We'll be thinking of you every day.
XOXO
Tom
I remember all the times that you bragged about your friend that put together a support team and whipped cancer. From the comments, I can see that your friends are here for you, like you have been for them and so many others. Please don't hesitate to call. Love, love, love, and strength ! Howard
Dear Valjean
We wish you lots of love, hope, prayers, as you are so awesome.
Thank you for keeping everyone posted during this most complicated time, and for including us on your supporters list.
definitely most truly yours,
Station-Kelly gang
Valjean,
It is only for you, dear friend, that I would ever BLOG. Needless to say, this is so crappy and unjust. But I see you are approaching it with your usual sense of irony and fighting spirit. I'm off of work from Dec 22 to Jan 2, so please feel free to ask for anything. Or anytime after that. Maya and I are rooting for you every step of the way.
xxxxoooo
Andra
Hey Lass,
Went to Mass yesterday, Saturday, and offered it for your healing. A prayer for you begins and ends every day.
Have you spoken to John and Mary?
Love and blessings, Peggy
vj,
trying to think of what i can do to help (am on disability, sick) but! if you ever need to VENT or CRY or BOTH, woulda just call me? i'm good at this. I'm also good at paging docs, btw.
I'll think of some other stuff.
xooxoxoox
sel/sarah
vj: the mere fact that YOU GOT EMAIL FRM OSMAN bods very very well, does it not.
plus i am totally impressed w/your organization, path, planning.
and also thanks for this journal update.
sarah
aka sel
Valjean
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I received your letter a few weeks ago and was so happy to hear from you. I actually went to Dublin the next day for the first time in two years and had planned to contact you when I got back. I have a newer email now and very rarely check my hotmail account and I'm very glad that I checked it now.
I'm not in Chicago to help out but I will be praying for you daily and I believe strongly in the power of prayer.
I wish I could get to Chicago to drop in on Christmas. I will be there in spirit. You are very much in my heart.
Thank you for this blog because it gives me a way of staying in touch and staying up to date on your journey.
I am sending healing thoughts and prayers your way from the hot state of Florida to the windy state of the Chicago.
Love, Mary Curtis
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